This had happened with me a few years ago when I met a person who made my condition serious by her behavior. She was my neighbor and the wife of my husband's senior colleague.We lived in the same building. I do not want to disclose her name so I will call her Mrs.X here. The lady was suffering from a disease called 'Humiliating other people by unnecessary criticism'. Though I could not recognize her disease in the beginning and took her and her criticism seriously and in a very genuine way.
I remember that it was a small get together of ladies at my house.I served the sweets and snacks which I had made after long hours of devoted cooking. While everyone was enjoying eating the items I
cooked and liked them a lot, dear Mrs.X asked after having four or five of them, '' Have you made these Laddoos (Indian sweet) with rice flour!? It is not having the taste of Laddoo.''(with a facial expression of 'you have made a huge mistake!')
I was feeling very bad that I served such bad Laddoos for my distinguished guest and was filled with guilt though I didn't make the laddoos with rice flour. This was the first time when I was victimized by Mrs.X.
One day she met me at the school where my kids studied .She was there to get the admission form for her niece. I went to school to pickup my youngest daughter ,I was just five minutes late because I had to withdraw some cash and as the A.T.M machine was not working well , I got late by a few minutes. 'And that was my horrible mistake.'
''You should have come on time, you are late, it will leave a negative impact on your daughter. She will never understand the importance of time in future.'', said Mrs.X .
"How bad I was as a mother , I was ruining my own child!'' , I was catching the disease!
''I don't think so...", Mrs.X said , "Look at her hair , what has she done with it! , it is looking like she has got a mountain on her head!" .
This time I really felt bad , I felt bad for the poor bride because she was really looking beautiful.
After that meeting I realized that Mrs.X had a habit to criticize other people in order to demean them. Later I came to know from my friends that Mrs.X behaved in this way with everybody and that is why people who knew her well didn't take her seriously. After that I had many encounters with Mrs.X but I was determined not to take her criticism seriously.
Now when I remember those encounters with Mrs.X , a smile comes on my face remembering how foolish I was that I became a victim of a person like Mrs.X.
So my friends, one thing we must have in our minds that healthy criticism is good for us and we should welcome it. But unnecessary criticism is not worthy of being accepted.
- Aunt Mary
Some time ago I learned to banter with myself and look at my face just after getting up in the morning, and tell me: You are the best!
ReplyDeleteUsually I ended up laughing at myself, but this silly exercise gave me enough self-esteem as to sift criticism.
Your post is also a learning ground of this, Auntie!!
Thank you!
Mirror technique is a good way to get over from the bad effects of criticism Od ,
DeleteThank you so much for reading and liking the post :)
There is such an important distinction between healthy/constructive criticism and unhealthy criticism. You draw the distinction wonderfully here.
ReplyDeleteYes you are right , I am so glad that you liked the post , Thank's a lot :)
DeleteHehe excellent post, little different from you. There are many such people like MrsX :) All the best for the contest !!
ReplyDeleteThank's a lot Jahid, yes, it is a different topic and I really enjoyed writing on this :)
ReplyDeleteNice post! Yes these r ladies in serious condition n are best left alone! :-P
ReplyDeleteYou are right Amrita , because some people never change . Thank's a lot for the kind visit:)
DeleteI dont like the company of those kind of people, but I know they are not happy with their lives that is why they are always making other lives sour.
ReplyDeleteI agree , we should not take them seriously .Thank's for coming :)
DeleteI have met a few people who behaved like Mrs X. It's a waste of time listening to what they said. They seemed to know a lot better than other people.
ReplyDeleteGood luck to you! :)
I agree with you dear, thank you so much :)
DeleteOh dear, there are few conditions worse than Humiliating other people by unnecessary criticism. Thankfully a cure is to be had ...... if the sufferer really wants it.
ReplyDeleteGreat post as always, fun with a serious message at its heart.
I am so glad that you liked the post , you said rightly, thank's my friend :)
DeleteStopping by to say hello Its been a while, I hope all is well with you and yours.
ReplyDeleteI am fine , thank you so much for your concern my dear friend :)
DeleteWelcome back to blogging again. I missed your posts.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I need that reminder today:)
I missed you too, thank you very much Joy :)
DeleteThe contrast between better and healthier criticism and unhealthy criticism is quite essential. You've done a fantastic job of separating the two here.
ReplyDeleteEmily Scott